1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. 2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs. 5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
Programmers at a cocktail party
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found. 9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduces 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free….
LAWS OF COMPUTING
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
PROGRAMS - Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it.
MURPHY’S COMPUTER LAWS
· Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
· Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
· Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
· 90% of a programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
· A program that compiles on the first run has an error in the algorithm.
· A program will work the way you think is should only when you don't care if it does.
· The chances of a program doing what it’s supposed to do are inversely proportional to the number of lines of code used to write it.
· If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
· If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
· The longer it takes to download a program the more likely it won't run.
· Failure is not an option, it's included with the software.
· A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
· Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
· Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.
· A program generator creates programs that are more buggy than the program generator.
· Debugging is at least twice as hard as writing the program in the first place. So if your code is as clever as you can possibly make it, then by definition you're not smart enough to debug it.
· Every non trivial program can be simplified to one line of code, and it will contain a bug.
· A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
· A program is good when it's bug free - which is impossible.
· Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
· Bugs mysteriously appear when you say, "Watch this!" If you call another programmer over to see if he knows what's wrong the bug disappears.
· The worst bugs in your program will show up only during the final review.
· The number of bugs always exceeds the number of lines found in a program.
lektsii.com - Лекции.Ком - 2014-2021 год. (0.011 сек.)
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