BRIDGET. Oh, Bridget, this is wonderful.

NICK

Oh, Bridget, this is wonderful.

BRIDGET

I'm so glad you like it, Nick.

NICK

I just can't get enough of it. More, more, more!

BRIDGET

Nick, honey, there's plenty more where that came from. Nick?

NICK

Yes, Bridget darling?

BRIDGET

How long have we been together now?

NICK

Erm...

BRIDGET

We've been together two days, Nick.

NICK

Wow! That long? Hmm!

BRIDGET

Yes, it is a long time, Nick. But if we are to continue our relationship, you must..., will you..., will you treat me like a lady?

NICK

Bridget darling, just call me Gentleman Nick.

BRIDGET

Nick! Nick! You must..., there must be more...

NICK

Snogging!

BRIDGET

There must be more respect.

NICK

[Makes belching noise]

BRIDGET

Oh, Nick. Let's see what sort of gentleman you are. Here's a little test. Follow me. Well?

NICK

Well, what?

BRIDGET

I want to go out.

NICK

Oh.

BRIDGET

So..., what do you do?

NICK

Kiss you goodbye!

BRIDGET

No. You open the door for me.

NICK

Huh? Ah! Because I am the strongest - drrrrrhhhh! Ooh-arrr! Ooharrr! Tarzan!!!

ANNIE

Oh, come on, Ziggy, we'll be late.

HECTOR

Is just you and Ziggy doing this protest?

ANNIE

Yes, but when other people see how important it is, they'll join us. We must stop!

Sound of Hector’s mobile phone ringing

HECTOR

Oh, excuse me, Annie. Hola Papa ….. ….. …. ….

ANNIE

Problems?

HECTOR

What?

Oh, no, no, no. No problems at all.

ANNIE

Oh, look! There's Ziggy. Must dash.

HECTOR

Have fun!

ANNIE

This is not fun.

This is serious.

HECTOR

This is serious too!

BRIDGET

Now, clothes.

NICK

What?

BRIDGET

I want you more like David Beckham.

NICK

Ah, like this!

BRIDGET

Now where is it? Aha! Here it is. Now come here.

NICK

Really, Bridget, I don't think...

BRIDGET

Oh, don't be silly, Nick. There! That's better. Now, we must go deeper. There is a bigger problem. You have a lot of anger in there.

NICK

Well, yes, I am wearing this stupid hair-band.

BRIDGET

So we must work on your inner calm. I want to see your chest.

NICK

Ha-ha-humm!! OK!

BRIDGET

Lie down. Close your eyes. And relax.

NICK

Ahhh!

BRIDGET

Now this may tickle a bit. Ready? Here goes!

NICK

Yahhhh!

BRIDGET

Just feel that anger go!

Acupuncture never fails.

Oh, hi, Mrs Romero.

MRS ROMERO

Hello, Bridget. Where is Hector?

NICK

Hello, Mrs Romero.

BRIDGET

Do you remember Nick, Mrs Romero?

NICK

Time to party!!

MRS ROMERO

Nicky! I can't forget him.

HECTOR

Oh! Hola, Mama! Sorry I'm late. Coffee?

MRS ROMERO

Oh, yes please.

BRIDGET

Excuse us, Mrs Romero. Come on, Nick, I'm taking you shopping.

NICK

Uh-uh.

BRIDGET

Oh? So you want some more acupuncture?

NICK

OK, OK, I'm coming, I'm coming.

BRIDGET

And don't forget your money.

NICK

Pfwoarrr!

BRIDGET

Oh, you are learning quickly.

NICK

Pfwoarrr!

MRS ROMERO

…………………………………

HECTOR

Oh, gracias, Mama.

MRS ROMERO

…………………………………

HECTOR

………………………………..

NICK [Composing email]

Hey, Dan!

Guess who I'm going out with? Bridget!

At last she realises that I am the one for her!

The only problem is, she doesn't like my manners or my hair or my clothes.

BRIDGET

I want you more like David Beckham.

NICK

Ah, like this?

BRIDGET [Composing email]

NICK

Wow! That long? Hmm!

BRIDGET [Composing email]