BRIDGET. Oh! You are learning quickly!

Oh! You are learning quickly!

NICK

Pfwoarrr!

MRS ROMERO

……………………………………..

HECTOR

Oh, oh, oh, oh! Mother, when in London, we speak English.

MRS ROMERO

Yes, we must.

English is the language of high class, so I must teach it...

HECTOR

… Learn.

MRS ROMERO

…

HECTOR

You must learn it, not teach it.

MRS ROMERO

Oh, yes. So your father has found you a wife.

HECTOR

He told me.

He must stop shopping on E-Bay. Look, Mum, I don't want a wife. I've got Annie.

MRS ROMERO

This girl is from a good family.

HECTOR

So is Annie.

MRS ROMERO

This girl is rich.

HECTOR

I don't care about money.

MRS ROMERO

But she's almost royalty.

HECTOR

Mum, Annie is my princess.

MRS ROMERO

But she's so...

HECTOR

She's so clever, so kind, so happy!

Annie?

MRS ROMERO

Very happy!

HECTOR

What happened?

ANNIE

Ziggy and I were in a field lying down.

MRS ROMERO

Sunbathing?

ANNIE

Protesting.

HECTOR

And...?

ANNIE

It began to rain.

HECTOR

Oh, poor Annie.

MRS ROMERO

Don't touch her!

HECTOR

Now listen, Mum, I told you I love Annie.

MRS ROMERO

Be careful, your pullover.

ANNIE

Hector, your mother's right. Don't touch me!

MRS ROMERO

Oh ………………………….

HECTOR

Why did you do that?

MRS ROMERO

Because I love you, darling.

HECTOR

If you knew Annie, you would love her.

MRS ROMERO

Well, I'm going home tomorrow.

HECTOR

Look, Mum, come to dinner tonight and you will meet the real Annie.

And if you don't like her, then..., then I might marry the princess Dad has found.

Sound of knocking on door

HECTOR

Annie? Annie.

ANNIE

Yes, Hector?

HECTOR

Can we talk?

ANNIE

If that's OK with your mother.

HECTOR

Oh, Annie, she's gone to her hotel now.

ANNIE

Huh!

HECTOR

Look, she's going home tomorrow and I thought we would invite her to dinner tonight.

ANNIE

Well, I'm going out.

HECTOR

Annie, please don't be silly.

Stay and be nice to her. She is OK really.

ANNIE

Well, OK then.

But you must do one thing for me.

HECTOR

Sure. What?

ANNIE

Scrub my back.

HECTOR

Oh, but I am still dressed.

ANNIE

So am I. Well, I can't put these in the washing machine. They're filthy.

ANNIE

Umm, apricot?

HECTOR

No.

Annie, will you behave?

ANNIE

When?

HECTOR

When my mother comes to dinner.

ANNIE

Hmm, probably.

Strawberry.

HECTOR

Annie, I have an idea.

Nick is pretending to be someone different.

BRIDGET

Nick isn't pretending.

This is the new Nick. Isn't it, Nick.

HECTOR

You can pretend as well. You can pretend to be what my mother wants.

ANNIE

What, Princess Caroline of Monaco?

HECTOR

Look, Nick is pretending to be what Bridget wants.

NICK

Yeah. A slave.

BRIDGET

How can I help?

As you can see, I'm a talented stylist. Could I have some more cola, please, sweetie?

HECTOR

My mother is coming to dinner tonight.

BRIDGET

Oh! So what's on the menu?

ANNIE

I am!

NICK

What sort of food does your mother like?

ANNIE

Babies on toast?

HECTOR

I don't know.

A traditional English dish.

ANNIE

I am not going to pretend to eat meat.

NICK

How about roast Annie? Ha-ha!!